


Call Your Girlfriend

by MovieWocher



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Clexa, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-19 14:13:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7364647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovieWocher/pseuds/MovieWocher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thoughts that ran through Clarke's mind as she looked at Lexa: </p><p>It was just like in the movies. Our eyes met and I knew. But you have a girlfriend and I’m the asshole (i.e the insensitive one, the bad one, the villain) who’s trying to break you up. </p><p>---</p><p>Inspired by the song, "Call Your Girlfriend" cover by Sarah Blackwood. Look it up!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Club

I’m a musician. I compose music for a living. I write about everything under the sun but of course it all boils down to love or lack thereof. I seem to have a pretty good imagination because people who’ve heard me sing loved my songs. It calls out to them, tells them that they are not alone. And I felt a little bit envious because I never felt it. All the love in the world and it hasn’t chosen to land on me. But it changed that night when you came in to my life.

I was strumming my guitar, warming up for my set that was about to start in fifteen minutes when my friend came up to me.

“Clarke, here’s my cousin that I’ve been telling you about, the one who just moved here.”

I looked up lazily, not wanting to disrupt my rhythm. And there you were, standing and smiling at me. I don’t know if it’s the way your curly hair fell across your shoulders with some of the strands dipping on your drink or the way you look so innocently out of place in this place with your big black rimmed glasses but I felt a sudden rush of excitement that left my skin tingling. It was really like in the movies. I smiled back.

“This is Lexa and her girlfriend Costia.” My friend continued.  

My smile wavered for just a second. I didn’t think anyone notice but you. The slight look of guilt appeared in your eyes for a second before you covered it up with another smile.

I supposed some other words were exchanged but I don’t remember. Why would I want to know about you and your girlfriend? I don’t want to invest in something that was bound to end badly. I felt your disappointment as I stood up and told everyone that I had to go get ready for my set.  

“I can’t wait to hear you sing.” She shouted as a goodbye as I was already walking away. I had to stop and look back. And there you were again smiling as if I was the only person in the room that is until your girlfriend pulled you to go to your table or bathroom or the bar, somewhere far away from me. I shook my head as I turned around and hurried to the stage for the sound check.

After a few minutes, my band and I started our set. We usually start with something loud to get people on their feet, then we mellow it down for a few songs, and end it the way we started. It was usually a mix of covers and original songs. Since we sing here twice a month, the audience knew our songs and they usually sing along.

Of course when we started playing, the first person I saw was you. Or maybe you weren’t but my eyes ignored everyone who was not you. And now I was looking at you, looking at me. I am in big trouble.


	2. Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Clarke and Lexa got to know each other a little bit more. Lincoln was the party pooper.

My band and I were packing up when I felt you hover near me. And when I turned my head, there you were again, smiling goofily at me.

“My dorky girlfriend didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.” Costia said when she saw me looking at them. She placed her hand across Lexa’s waist possessively and pulled her closer. Lexa didn’t seem to notice.  

“You were great.” Lexa said loudly, wanting to be heard over the noise. “The band was,” she added as she smiled in turn at the rest of the group.  

“Thank you.” I said drawing back her eyes towards me. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Maybe we can watch another one of your shows again.”  Lexa spoke up again. I saw Costia glanced at Lexa and raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“That would be great.” I thought of giving you my number but what purpose will it serve, so instead I told you to get my band’s schedule from Lincoln.

Lexa nodded, somewhat disappointed. “We’ll see you around, I guess.”

I nodded back. Then you looked wistfully at me before Costia dragged you out. I turned my attention back to packing.

“Such a waste.” Murphy said as he moved to sit beside me.

“What is?” I asked.

“All the pretty girls are lesbians.” He said dramatically. “I wish I can call dibs on the girl on the left. Beneath that nerdy exterior, I can feel the hotness trying to come out.”

Lexa was on the left. I hundred percent agree but instead I shrugged my shoulder. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Really now.”

Murphy acted like an ass sometimes but he is very perceptive. He can look at the crowd and come up with a list of songs that’ll make them go wild.

I looked at him straight in the eye daring him to contradict me. “Yes, really.”

“Okay.” He said with a knowing smile as he stood up. “But I can’t wait to hear the new songs.”

“What new songs?”

Murphy just winked at me as he grabbed one of the boxes and waltzed out into the side exit where our van was parked.      

The following day I had lunch plans with Lincoln. As usual I woke up late and was running behind. He had gotten so used to me that he usually arrived later than me but this time when I arrived, he was already there and he was with someone whose back was turned towards me. I’ve stared at that body long enough last night to know who it was. Those loose curls will be the death of me. But those curls were in relationship and I am not that type of girl to break up relationships. So for everyone’s sanity especially mine, I decided to just skip out. I was about to make my escape when Lincoln noticed me and called me over. Busted.

I dragged myself to your table. I was a just a few steps away when you turned around. I imagined that action was done relatively quickly but for me it was like a movie played in slow-mo. And that freaking smile again when your eyes met mine. I was surprised I didn’t trip. I took a deep breath to compose myself.  

“Hi Clarke.”

“Hi…” I pretended that I didn’t remember your name.

“It’s Lexa.”

“Of course.” I said as I smiled at you. “Where’s your girlfriend?” I asked as I walked around the table and sat down beside Lincoln.  

“She’s at work.” You turned your head guiltily away from me and proceeded to drink your cup of tea with both hands.

I shouldn’t be but I found myself pleased with this as I tried to hide a smirk. Last night was different. We were in a club, they were drinking, and I was playing. People fall in love with the band all the time but when they wake up the next morning, they forget about us. But you haven’t basing on your actions. And me, my crush on you is raging high right now. You and your black tank top and yellow corduroy pants. Yellow corduroy pants?

“Nice pants.” I couldn’t help myself.

You shrugged in response with your little smile back playing on your lips.   

And then I remembered the girlfriend again. My smirk turned into a frown. 

“How do you like the city?” I asked, moving the conversation to neutral grounds, as I took some fries from Lincoln’s plate. 

“I like it especially since I found out about this remarkable band with this amazing front singer…”

I was unable to hide my smile, suddenly feeling good again.

“that we watched last week,” you continued.

What? I looked up in surprise, offended that you were talking about another group. Then I found you smiling widely at me, clearly teasing me.

“I meant last night,” you added. 

 “Well if you really like it that much and you’re not just pulling my leg, you should watch again.”

“I’d love that.” You said as you looked directly in my eyes. It was so dark in the club last night that I didn’t notice how green your eyes were. But here in the restaurant, I found those hazel orbs mesmerizing.   

Lincoln suddenly fake a cough. It brought me crashing down to earth.

“You and your girlfriend, you should watch again.” I hastily added.

“We could all come together, double date.” Lincoln spoke up. “Let’s make this one, a little jealous.” He added as he placed his arms around me.

I think both of us froze at the exact moment. Lincoln didn’t seem to notice. “This one hasn’t been in a relationship ever. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

“I had a boyfriend in second grade.” I argued.

“And let’s not forget about the girlfriend in the third grade.” He added with a laugh.

You raised your eyebrows little bit in amusement.

“You should have seen her, walking up in front, getting on the table and announcing to the whole class that she broke up with Finn and now has a girlfriend.”

I shook my head as I laughed with him. “And I spent the entire grade, holding hands with Niylah, giving each other candies, and going on playdates.”

“Poor Finn looked so heartbroken.” 

“What happened with Niylah?” You asked.

“Her family moved away.” I answered as I pictured that last day I saw her. It was a day filled with tears and ice cream as my mom tried to comfort me.

“And that was her last relationship, if you can even call it that.” Lincoln said.

“I think that’s adorable.” You interrupted.

“Grown ass woman, singing love songs she doesn’t know about.” Lincoln grumbled.

“You don’t have to be in-love to sing those songs. And I never had any complaint.” I answered with a smug smile.

“Well going back to our topic. You and Costia should go with us. The band will be playing again next weekend.”

“Costia has a thing… I don’t know if she can come but I ---”

“We’re always playing,” I cut her off. “Come when you and Costia are both available.” I didn’t wait for your reaction. Instead I called for the waitress to give her my order.

After lunch, you took off while Lincoln and I stayed behind to walk around the mall.

“That was a weird lunch.”                                                    

“What do you mean? It was fun.” I asked as I stopped by a stall to look at some scarf.

“Well yeah. It was fun and awkward.”

“I didn’t see it.”

“It’s like one moment you’ll both be flirting with each other, forgetting that I am there. And then the next moment, you’ll be talking about her girlfriend.”

“That’s not flirting.” I said as I let go of the scarf and walked again.

“You may not have a lot of experience outside of singing so let me help you out. When you tell a girl that her green eyes makes you feel like running through a forest and you bat her eyelashes at her, then that’s flirting. When a girl reaches out from across the table to stroke your arms while telling you that your voice just makes her melt, then that’s flirting.”

“She has a girlfriend.”  I abruptly stopped and glared at Lincoln.

“Exactly.” Lincoln replied not backing down. “So don’t put your hopes up to high. Lexa and Costia… they have been together for more than three years. I don’t know what my cousin is playing at but I don’t want you to end up hurt.”

“It’s just a little crush.” I admitted to Lincoln. “It’s just harmless fun, Lincoln. No one is getting hurt.” Famous last words.


	3. From a Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time Clarke ignored Lexa and then realized that it was not working out for her.

“I had a great time. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

Clarke was lying in bed on her back, staring at the message on her phone. Lexa texted her after lunch and she hasn’t replied yet. Lincoln’s words hang over her like a noose. Suddenly the flirting didn’t sound so harmless anymore. 

“Stupidest crush ever!” Clarke moaned. “Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away.”

Clarke stared at the message once again. Then after a minute, she deleted it along with Lexa’s number.  She may not have had any serious relationships but she’d had crushes before. This too will pass like all the others.

The following weekend, Clarke was on stage again singing a slow song. As she was wont to do, she let her eyes sweep over the rows of people who were watching them, looking for people to focus on. Sudden movement made her look at the right side. She then saw a familiar brunette making her way towards the front. It was Lexa and she was all alone. Her eyes followed Lexa’s progress. She turned her head away when Lexa looked up. Her heart started pounding as she felt Lexa’s gaze on her. She didn’t even notice the song ending, Clarke automatically singing the lyrics.

“Are you okay?” Octavia asked Clarke as she walked as near as the wires from her bass guitar allowed her.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Clarke answered as she arranged her mike, still keenly aware of Lexa’s presence.

“You seem out of it.” Octavia added. “Still look like it actually.”

Clarke frowned at Octavia. Then with a determined look, she counted down to start the next song. Setting aside her thoughts on Lexa, Clarke focused on giving a performance. After an hour, the set ended to cheers and applause.

After going down from the stage, people crowded around the band. Clarke smiled and talked to a lot of people. Some just wanted to say hi and some wanted to know where they can see them again. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Lexa leaning on a table, drinking beer, and occasionally looking at her. Every time she hazard a glance, Lexa was there. However by the time that the crowd thinned out and Clarke tried to seek her out again, she was gone.

It happened again the next night and then the next few weekends. There were times Lexa would stay longer but there were times she’d drop by only for a few minutes. She’d find a place in the audience and watch them perform. All the while, Lexa did not attempt to come over nor did Clarke. It has become a regular occurrence that Clarke found herself waiting for Lexa everytime. She found that songs started to have more meaning and while she doesn’t look at Lexa directly, Clarke knew she was singing for her. During this time, Lexa has not tried to text or call her again.

This has been going on for a few weeks, when one Saturday Lexa did not come in. Clarke was sorely disappointed although she tried to hide it from her bandmates. Then the next day, she was a no show again. By the end of the set, she was a mess. Forgetting cues and lyrics, her bandmates covering up for her. For the first time in weeks, she roamed around the venue trying to see if she maybe just missed seeing Lexa. But she really wasn’t there. Clarke didn’t know what to think. A part of her was worried that something happened to Lexa or maybe she was sick. Another part of her was afraid that Lexa had decided not to see her again. Since she removed Lexa’s number from her phone, she had no way to contact her. Against her better judgement, she made plans to see Lincoln for lunch the next day.

“Hey Loser.” Clarke called out to Lincoln they exchanged a hug.

“Interesting set last night.” Lincoln greeted back as he sat back down, noting the dark circles under Clarke’s eyes.

They talked about several things as they ate lunch, all the time Clarke felt her stomach rumbling like crazy. It was only when they were eating dessert that Clarke brought up Lexa.   

“Lincoln,” Clarke started. “How’s your cousin? I haven’t see her in a while.”

“Lexa?” Lincoln asked.

Clarke nodded.

“She’s fine.” Lincoln answered as he squinted at her, puzzled that Clarke was asking about her. After they met and had lunch, Lincoln knew that they haven’t seen each other again. He wasn’t aware that Lexa had been coming to the bar to watch Clarke’s band perform.    

“She’s not like sick or something?” Clarke asked. Lincoln peered at her curiously. Clarke almost decided to balk but her desire to know what happened to Lexa won. “I need to talk to her.” Clarke stated flatly.

“Why?” Lincoln asked as he leaned back, crossing his arms.

“I just need to, okay?”                                           

Lincoln stared at Clarke for a while before nodding his head. He reached out for her phone which she unlocked for him. He typed for a few seconds before handing it back to her. “She just got engaged.” He announced.

“When?” Clarke asked even before Lincoln completed.

“Last Friday. Costia proposed to her.”

Clarke felt the vein in her head throbbing with the news but she tried to cover it up by smiling and taking another bite of cake. Lincoln look like he wanted to aske something but stopped himself. Instead he followed Clarke’s lead and concentrated on finishing his dessert. After a few more minutes of awkward silence, they parted ways.

As Clarke sat in her car, she looked over her phone and saw that Lincoln added Lexa in her contacts. With a deep breath, she pressed the call button.

“Hello?” Lexa answered.

Clarke found herself unable to speak.

“Clarke? Is that you?”  

“How’d you know?” Clarke managed to croak out.

“I got your number from Lincoln a few weeks back.” She answered.

Clarke nodded, forgetting that Lexa cannot see her.

“Is there something you want Clarke?” Lexa asked after a few seconds of silence.

“I… ah… was wondering why you haven’t… ahh… been to the show this weekend.” Clarke stammered.

“I wasn’t sure if you saw me.” Lexa answered in a clipped tone.

“I did every time.” Clarke admitted. “Lincoln told me that you’re engaged?” She added hastily.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Congratulations.”

Clarke can hear Lexa breathing heavily on the phone before speaking up again. “Why’d you call?” Lexa asked as she sighed in irritation.

“Maybe we can meet for coffee or tea or something?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  

Clarke felt the panic rising from her stomach. It can’t end like this. “Look, I’ll be in Willows tonight from 8 if you change your mind.”

“I won’t. Goodbye Clarke.”

“Think---.“ Clarke didn’t even finish before Lexa hanged up.

Clarke frowned at her phone before chucking it on the passenger’s seat. Her quest to forget her crush on Lexa did not work out so well. It didn’t help that she saw her every weekend even if they didn’t talk. What she hoped to accomplish tonight, she wasn’t sure.

At exactly 8 pm, Clarke entered the coffee house. She looked around and to her disappointment, Lexa wasn’t there. She then ordered tea and a pastry and made herself comfortable in one of the seats there. Everytime the door opened, Clarke would look up expectantly. Time crawled as she waited. Around 10, Clarke dozed off. A sound of breaking dishes woke her up. She turned toward the noise and saw one of the waitress picking up the broken glass. Yawning, she looked back and then nearly jumped when she found Lexa sitting across from her.

“You looked like a drunk baby sleeping, I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” Lexa explained as she smirked at Clarke.  

“I’m glad you came.” Clarke said as she tried to subtly wipe the drool from her mouth. “Do you want coffee?” She asked as she stood up.

“I’m fine, Clarke.” Lexa answered. “Sit.”

Clarke complied and sat back down. “I didn’t think you’d come. You sounded so pissed off on the phone.”

“I was… am.” Lexa frowned at her. “You’ve ignored me for the past few weeks. How’d you think I feel?”

“You have a girlfriend.” Clarke pointed out.

“I have a fiancée.” Lexa corrected her.

“Then you know exactly why I was ignoring you.” Clarke said as she looked down, trying to avoid Lexa’s eyes. “I felt something when we met but I am not the type of person who would steal someone else’s girl no matter how I felt.”

“Then why now?”

“Lexa, I haven’t been in love before but all I know is that after I met you, I can’t stop thinking about you. Trying to avoid you only seems to make it worst. Then when I didn’t see you this weekend, I nearly lost my mind. Then I have to find out that you are now engaged. Stupid crush.”

Lexa let out a little smile before frowning again. “Worst crush ever.” She said as she looked up in hopelessness and sighed.

Clarke looked at her, confused if Lexa was saying that she agreed that Clarke’s feelings were the worst or if she was saying that she felt the same way.


	4. The One where Clarke Tried to do the Right Thing

“So I’m not crazy…”

“Clarke, don’t pretend to be naive.” Lexa cut off Clarke, suddenly exasperated. “You know exactly why I was there every weekend.”

“But it’s wrong.”

“It is wrong.” Lexa echoed, her look of exasperation giving way to melancholy.

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know. I mean, even being here feels all sorts of wrong.”

“Then why even come here?” Clarke asked, now the one sounding frustrated.

“Because you called.” Lexa paused, took a deep breath, and looked directly at Clarke. “And I had no choice but to come.”

Clarke stared back for a second before looking down. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Maybe I just need to get this out of my system.” Lexa started. “Then ----“

“Then you can go back to your life with Costia?”

Lexa did not respond, looking all shades of guilt. Another blanket of silence descended upon them.

“I thought this was supposed to be fun and easy.” Clarke was the one who break the silence.

“What do you mean?”

“Love, I thought ----.”

“Wooh Clarke, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. This is not love. What we have here is just simple infatuation, physical attraction. Nothing more.”

Clarke saw red, having her feelings reduced to something so trivial and insignificant. “You’re right. This is just a stupid physical reaction to each other. And we are clearly not animals to not have the ability to control ourselves.” Clarke snapped. “This was clearly a bad idea. Let’s just call it a night and never talk about it. Actually, we should never talk at all.” Clarke stood up and was about to walk away when she felt a hand on her arm. She glared at Lexa.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said as she released her grip on Clarke. “I didn’t mean to be an ass. Please take a sit atleast until we can figure this out.”

Clarke continued to glare at Lexa.

“Okay. It is something more than a stupid crush. It certainly does not explain why I cannot stop myself from seeing you every chance I got.”

Clarke finally relented and sat down again.

“I don’t want to be that person who turns you off on love. Because you’re partly right.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows at Lexa.

“Love is like a warm and comfy blanket wrapped around you when there is a storm raging outside. You recognize that life is not perfect but somehow you know you can get through it because there is someone beside you.”  

“That sounds nice.”

“But it’s not always like that.” Lexa continued. “You’ll piss each other off, you’ll fight. But then you’ll make up and it’s back to the greatest feeling ever.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about make-up sex.”

“Heard?” Lexa asked as she raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “Are you a…”

“Oh God no.” Clarke answered with an awkward laugh. “It was just never serious.” Then Clarke panicked as she realized her response. “I’m not promiscuous. I’m just saying that in however many partners that I had, it was never in a real relationship… that still sounded wrong… it’s like…” Clarke trailed off, not knowing how to get out of this hole she just dug in.

“An itch to scratch?” Lexa teased.

Clarke turned red in embarrassment.

“I’m kidding.” Lexa said as she smiled at Clarke. “The fact that you know that those… sessions were not the real thing, that’s pretty good. You’re self-aware. Sometimes, sex is just sex.” 

“It’s not like I had many.” Clarke said as she stared off into a corner, still a bit flush.

“It’s okay, Clarke. We’re not here to count how many partners we had.” Lexa said as reached out and patted Clarke’s hand. The moment their skin touched, they felt an electricity surge between them. Lexa pulled back instantly.

“Stupid cold weather.” Clarke muttered as she rubbed her arm in response to the shock.

“Maybe I will get that tea after all.” Lexa suddenly said as she stood up and went to the counter to order.

Clarke followed Lexa with her eyes, drinking in the figure leaning on the counter, the way her curls fall just right on her back, the way her legs just seemed to go on and on. Clarke was smiling appreciatively when the glint on Lexa’s ring hit her eyes. She leaned back on her chair and closed her eyes. What is she doing? Her parents did not raise her to be this way. She opened her eyes when she felt Lexa sat back down. She asked Lexa about Costia.

Lexa seems taken aback by the question. She pursed her lips in deep concentration before speaking. “I’ve known her since college. We were the only two gay persons that I know off at that time. So we did the responsible thing and did not hook up. We both agreed that our friendship comes first. Then we graduated and found out that the world really had more than two lesbians.” Lexa let out a laugh. “So we began dating around but at the end of it, it was always the two of us. When we talked about our latest dates, we’ll both say that it was nice but there was something missing. Then one day it just hit us,” Lexa paused as a dreamy look came over her. “We realized what was missing was in the person in front of us. We just fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. We’ve been together almost four years.”

“Two pieces of a fucking puzzle.” Clarke repeated as she sighed. “Lexa, I don’t really know you and you don’t know me. But the fact that we are both here talking about your fiancée and feeling guilty about it, makes me think that we are better persons that this. I think we both know what we have to do.” Clarke said as she stood up abruptly.

Lexa also stood up in response, a look of panic appearing at her face. They stared at each other for a second before Clarke stepped closer to give Lexa a hug. She was saying goodbye anyway, why shouldn’t she afford herself a little comfort. This time there was no static. But if Lexa described her relationship with Costia as two puzzle pieces, with the hug Clarke felt like she was one pole of a magnet getting pulled in by the opposite pole of another magnet. With all the strength she can muster, Clarke pulled away. She can do the right thing. With hardly another look at Lexa, Clarke walked out. When she hazard a quick glance through the windows of the coffee shop, she saw Lexa sitting by their table, looking pensively at her tea.  Then suddenly Lexa glanced up and zeroed in at her easily, like she knew she was there. Their eyes met for a second. Clarke nearly tripped trying to get away

Instead of going directly to her car, Clarke decided to go the bar they usually perform in. It was Monday and there was another group playing. She went directly to the bar.

“Clarke, I didn’t expect to see you today.” The bartender greeted Clarke as she sat down in front of him.

“Just that kind of day.” Clarke sighed as she smiled weakly at him. “Hit me up.”

“The usual?”

“Nah, the other one.” Clarke answered as she laid down her head on the counter.  She didn’t see the bartender looked at her curiously before turning his back to prepare the drink. She can still smell Lexa’s scent and the feel of her arms around her shoulders when they hugged. Maybe she should just have opted for a handshake. It was safe and infinitely a good distance away. So now aside from trying to forget Lexa’s face, she has to forget how her other senses responded to her. She moaned in frustration.

“Here.” The bartender said as he placed a glass of whiskey in front of her.

“Thanks Mike.” Clarke said as she raised her head slightly to look at him. Then in one swift motion, she swallowed everything in one gulp. Then she held it back to him with another smile.

Mike shook his head but proceeded to pour another one for her.

Clarke chugged it immediately. Then held out her glass again.

“Must have been a bad day.” Mike said as he poured again. But he grabbed the glass as Clarke tried to raise it to her mouth. “Take it slow kid. Nothing is ever worth it.”

“If only that was true.” Clarke said as she took the glass but instead of downing everything, she took a big sip instead and left half of the contents in the glass.

Another group entered and Mike went to them. But not before leaving the bottle next to Clarke.

The next morning, Clarke woke up to the familiar sight of Octavia’s couch. “How did I get here?” She asked as she saw Octavia sitting across from her, drinking coffee and glaring at her.

“Mike called me at 230 in the morning. Sorry, not called but woke me up at 230 in the morning.” Octavia answered as she raised her eyebrow at Clarke. “You were passed out drunk in the bar. I had to drag Lincoln to come and get you.”

“Sorry.” Clarke said apologetically as she sat up and rubbed her throbbing head.

“He hadn’t even slept yet when I called him. Muttered something about being ladies night and everyone just drinking themselves to stupor.”

“What?” Clarke asked as she tried to make herself more comfortable on the couch.   

“Seems like his cousin did the same thing and they just got her home before I called.”

Clarke’s ears perk up and she sat up straighter. “Cousin?”

“Yeah. Lexa, the one who went to the bar a few months ago.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know Clarke. I didn’t ask.” Octavia answered angrily. “I was too worried about you to worry about another person.”

“I’m sorry.” Clarke apologized again as she slouched back at the couch.

“Why the hell were you drinking anyway?” Octavia’s voice softening a bit. “Do you have a problem? You know you can talk to me, right?”

“It’s nothing. Just feeling a little blue but I’ll be ---”

“A little blue?” Octavia’s voice rising again. “The two bottles of whiskey beside your unconscious body begged to differ. Good thing you didn’t go to some other bar. Who knows what might have happened? This is not like you. You are crazy to ---”

“How many times can I say sorry?” Clarke raised her hand to silence Octavia. “I just needed to get something out of my system.”

“And is it out of your system?”

“It’s out.” Clarke answered unconvincingly as she laid down on the couch and turned her back from Octavia. “Now, can you let me sleep in peace?”

“Oh God help us all.” Octavia muttered as she stood up.

Clarke closed her eyes to silence the hammering in her head and the chanting of Lexa’s name from somewhere deep inside.

The next few weeks have been uneventful and quiet. Clarke was uncharacteristically quiet. She’d of course put on a performance for their shows but afterwards, she’d sit quietly and just stare off into the distance. After a while, she’d excused herself saying she’s meeting someone. But in reality, she just goes home and continue to mope there. She hasn’t been able to snap herself out of the blues.

The next thing that happened was an accident, a fluke. Clarke doesn’t usually go to this side of town but she had been mindlessly driving and had missed her exit. When she realized, she decided to atleast make this trip count and do her grocery shopping. She was pushing her cart and placing stuff in them when from the corner of her eyes, she saw a familiar brunette walking at the end of the aisle carrying a bag of bread. Without thinking, Clarke found herself responding to the brunette’s presence and followed her. She was about to call out her name, when out of nowhere Costia appeared pushing another cart. Clarke turned around immediately but not quickly enough.

“Hey, it’s that singer from the band. Lincoln’s friend.” Clarke heard Costia tell Lexa. “Let’s call her.”

“No, let’s not bug her.” Lexa answered in a whisper. If she didn’t know that Clarke was there before, she definitely knows now.  

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Costia responded. Then she started calling Clarke. “Hey Clarke! Clarke!”

Clarke wished she can just melt on the floor. Forcing a smile on her face, she turned around and faced them. “Hi.” She greeted with as much enthusiasm that she can muster.

“Great meeting you here. Do you live in this area?”

“No. I was just passing by and decided to do my shopping here.”

“Same with us.” Costia said with a laugh. “We don’t usually go here but we had an appointment so here we are. Must be faith.” Lexa stood stiffly beside.

“Must be.” Clarke forcing a laugh.

“Sorry, we haven’t been back to watch your band perform. Too much going on.”

Clarke briefly glanced at Lexa who then subtly shook her head. Obviously, she did not tell Costia that she went back to the bar afterwards. “You should try to come when you’re able.”

“Yah. We should, babe.” Costia said as she looked at Lexa and wrapped her hands around her waist, pulling her closer. “Maybe tonight.”

Lexa just smiled and nodded at Costia.

“Nice, seeing you guys. I’d better skedaddle out of here.” Clarke said, wishing she was anywhere but there.

“What did you just say?” Costia asked as she stepped forward, grinning at Clarke in apparent disbelief.

“I have to leave ---.”

“Did you just say skedaddle?”

“I think so.”

Then Costia started to laugh. “Oh my God, babe. This one speaks your language.”

Lexa looked up at Clarke and smiled at her shyly. Clarke smiled back, the first unforced one since their conversation started.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you tonight.” Clarke then gave a little salute and went to the next aisle. When she felt that she was all clear, she let out a sigh of relief. Instead of continuing her shopping, she left her cart and went out of the supermarket.

That night as the band was tuning up their instruments, Clarke saw Lexa and Costia entered the bar. She nearly dropped the mic. She signaled to Octavia that she had to take a quick break. She went out to the alleyway to get some fresh air. Their presence unnerved her and she felt her heart beating erratically. She hasn’t been there a few seconds, when the door opened and a flustered Lexa appeared. They stared at each other for a second before Lexa closed the distance between them. She quickly placed her hand behind Clarke’s neck and leaned in to kiss her. Clarke closed her eyes as she felt Lexa’s soft lips against her. The kiss started gently but then urgency set in and Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist pulling her closer. The door opened again and both girls quickly released each other and stepped away. It was one of the bouncers who nodded at Clarke and then walked further away to light up a cigarette.

Clarke ought to feel guilty about the kiss but all she can think about is how right and good it felt. She raised her eyes to Lexa and smiled goofily at her. But instead of responding to her, Lexa ran back inside the bar without saying a word. Clarke managed to obtain a cigarette from the bouncer. She lighted it up to calm her nerves without any effect. Still feeling all kinds of energy zooming around her, she went back inside.

After the set, the rest of the band crowded around her.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Murphy said as he pumped his fist, still sweating from their last number.  

“That was amazing.” Octavia added breathlessly. “I’ve never heard you sound as good. We all just wanted to keep up.”

“Must be something in the air tonight.” Murphy teased as he quickly glanced to where Lexa and Costia were standing, then back to Clarke. Clarke did not fail to notice Murphy’s insinuations.

When the band went down, some people went over to them including Costia.

“You guys are so amazing.” She said excitedly. “Are you interested to play in a wedding?”

Clarke felt the blood drain from her face. “Wedding?” She managed to ask.

“Yeah. We’re getting married. We don’t have a date yet. But I would really really love to have you guys there.”

“I don’t know.” Murphy piped up. “Wedding equals sappy love songs. We can only do so much.”

“Think about it.” Costia said not willing to give up easily. “We both love your… where’s Lexa?” She looked around finally realizing that her fiancée was not beside her. “Anyway, I better look for her. You guys just get better and better each I see you.”

“Fiancée… tsk tsk tsk.” Murphy whispered to Clarke’s when Costia was out of earshot. “You better make your move soon.”

“Shut up!” Clarke hissed at him. Her good mood all forgotten. She felt like someone hit her in the gut, reminding her how stupid and wrong she was.   

That morning when Clarke got home slightly drunk, she noticed that she received a text a while back. It probably arrived during the ride back to her apartment. She nearly dropped her phone when she read Lexa’s message.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Clarke sighed. Why is the universe conspiring to make it hard for her to do the right thing? Inspite of her tipsiness, she had enough control to respond in the correct manner. She replied. “Go to sleep, Lexa.”

The reply came in seconds afterwards. “I can still feel your lips against mine.”

As she read the message Clarke gently touched her lips, remembering how a few hours ago, it was Lexa who was pressed against it. When she closed her eyes, Clarke can still taste her. But no, she can’t do this. She answered back, “I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.”

“I’ll be dreaming of you tonight.”

Clarke looked at the message and wondered if Lexa was texting her while lying beside Costia. The image made her shudder. She turned off her phone and forced herself to sleep. It was an uneasy one where she dreamt of both Lexa and Costia. At exactly 7, four hours after closing her eyes and unlike her, Clarke woke up. Automatically, she reached out for her phone and turned it on. There were 10 messages for her, all from Lexa.

“Can’t sleep.”

“I was doing just fine before yesterday. Why did you have to shop in that supermarket?!?”

“Costia can’t stop talking about your band. She wants to hire you for our wedding.”

“Can you just imagine that?”

“I wish I can kiss you again.”

“Shit.”

“It’s 5 am and I am still awake.”

“You probably think I am the worst person in the world. Thinking and texting another girl as I lay next to my fiancée.”

“I think so too.”

“I hate myself right now.”

Clarke knew what was right. Maybe it was because of the kiss they shared last night or maybe it was the fear of playing for their wedding, but she found herself doing the opposite.   

“Maybe we can meet later?”


	5. Decisions To Be Made

Clarke stood nervously in front of her door. She already cleaned up her apartment and took a shower. She tried to sit down and play her guitar but her frayed nerves led her fingers to play the right chords at the wrong time. So sighing, she put down her guitar, stood in front of her door and waited for the knock.

“This is stupid.” Clarke muttered to herself as she continued to stare at the door. She decided to just go out and just wait for Lexa outside. She hasn’t even fully opened the door when she saw Lexa leaning on the wall. They both looked at each other in surprise

“You’re already here?” Clarke said, stating the obvious.

“I was a little early but I didn’t want to intrude.” Lexa answered with an embarrassed smile.

“I had been standing by the door for about ten minutes, waiting for you.” Clarke confessed and was immediately rewarded when Lexa smiled more naturally, feeling a little less foolish. Clarke smiled back at her, then waved Lexa to come in.  She hadn’t even locked the door yet when she felt Lexa pin her to the door.

“You were so hot last night.  The way you walked all over the stage, the way you caressed your guitar, the way you leaned into the mike to sing. I know you were singing to the entire audience but I felt like you were only singing there for me.” Lexa huskily whispered to her.

“I was… It was for you.” Clarke whispered as Lexa moved in closer. But then she shook her head and struggled out of Lexa’s hold on her. “I can’t do this. We can’t do this. If you want this thing to work between us, you have to break it off with Costia.”   

Lexa let out a gasp. She paled considerably and turned her back from Clarke, avoiding her eyes.

 

“I’m not going behind anybody’s back.” Clarke continued. “I’m not going to hide in secret. If we do this, we do this the right way.”

 

“I can’t do that to her.” Lexa said. “I can’t hurt her.”

 

“What the hell do you think you are doing right now?”

Lexa did not answer.

 

“Call your girlfriend, Lexa.” Clarke paused. “Your fiancée. You have to decide. And I hope that you choose me because I would choose you.”

 

Lexa turned around and faced Clarke. Her face conflicted with emotions.

 

“You knew it would come to this.”

 

Lexa swallowed hard and nodded at Clarke, her actions not betraying her emotions. Then without saying a word, she walked passed Clarke to exit the apartment.

 

***

It has been a quiet month. Clarke have not heard back from Lexa. She nor Costia hadn’t returned to the bar. There were also no additional requests for them to sing at their wedding. The only thing that gave Clarke a clue that something was happening were the odd looks she had been getting from Lincoln. He often looked like he wanted to talk to her but he never made a move to get her in private.

And Murphy was right. That month, Clarke wrote twenty new songs.

***

**Clarke’s POV**

I’m a musician. I compose music for a living. I write about everything under the sun but of course it all boils down to love or lack thereof. I don’t need to imagine anymore. For a brief second, I was in-love and I thought she loved me to. I guess it was just fitting that after experiencing love for the first time, I get to experience heartbreak as well.

I was strumming my guitar, warming up for my set that was about to start in fifteen minutes when Lincoln came up to me.

“I have someone who wants to talk to you.”

I looked up lazily, not wanting to disrupt my rhythm. Then Lincoln stepped to the side and there you were smiling at me. Your curly hair, swept up in an untidy bun. In an oversized sweater that fell mid-thigh clothed in tight black pants. Still wearing that big black rimmed glasses that served to accent your glittering emerald eyes. I didn’t even noticed that Lincoln left. It was only me and you, alone in the club.

“I’m sorry, I only came now. There were lot of conversations, arguments, convincing to be had, some packing and moving around. There were also a lot of dinnerware that apparently had to be broken.” You started. “I hope it’s not too late.”

I looked down and saw your fingers unadorned. I carefully put my guitar down and stood up in front of you. This time it was me who leaned in closer and kissed you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate loose ends. So here's the last part of this story.   
> Send some love if you want :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my 4th work here! Check out the other three!   
> Comments and feedback are always wanted! So leave one if you want to brighten up my day :)


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